Mystery Horoscope

by Zahra Stevick, Bad Habits Editor

ARIES: Your future appears quite murky…how strange…look to Libra’s fortune for a hint on the things to come.

TAURUS: I’ve tried all the tricks I know, yet these runes are quite impossible to interpret. Whilst I study them, see if Sagittarius’ fortune can help you find answers.

GEMINI: I can make out the color red, but not much else. Hmm…visit Capricorn to see what more is to be seen.

CANCER: Is there some sort of holiday coming up? I think it may hold significance in your future…but I’m having trouble with the details. Perhaps Scorpio’s fortune will be more illuminative?

LEO: If I read the cards right, your fate is certainly going to involve dancing. Do I hear distant bagpipes? For the message they carry, try Aquarius’ fortune.

VIRGO: I spy with my inner eye…some kind of four-leafed plant. A creeping vine? Creeping toward what? For more, you must find Taurus.

LIBRA: Damn my crystal ball. Only faint images emerge…a pot of gold, is that it? Check Gemini’s fortune for further clues.

SCORPIO: Drat these tea leaves! They move about so…while I attempt to puzzle out their meaning for you, check if Pisces’ fortune might apply.

SAGITTARIUS: Hmm…I think your lucky number may be four. No, seven! These blasted questions confound me. Go cast your eye on Leo’s fortune for more.

CAPRICORN: The color red…no, no, the opposite…green! Yet the rest is blurry. Go to Virgo’s fortune for another hint.

AQUARIUS: Alas, I’ve lost the thread of prescience. Let me check the positions of the stars…while you wait, go see if Cancer’s fortune can help you.

PISCES: There’s certainly a man involved in your future. I think his name might be…Patrick? Yet more details elude me. Aries’ fortune may be more helpful.