By Ebun Lawore, Bad Habits Editor
Illustration by Hero Duenyas, Contributor
Guys, it’s everyone’s favorite time of the year. Coverband Showcase, the day where the bad decisions exude Halloween, the embarrassment rivals April Fools, and the air quality is that of an indoor pool/hookah lounge. In anticipation of this monumental event, I went around campus and asked students what they hoped to happen most on this fateful day and here is how they responded. You guys are honestly seriously disturbed.
“I was really sad when the Fleetwood Mac Coverband last year didn’t recreate the strenuous love affair on stage so I hope we get that with a different band, maybe with like…… One Erection?”
“I hope somebody spills their poppers on me. Like, ALL over me.”
“There is this one beautiful brunette with bangs who works at the bar and always fills my cup of PBR to the TOP, with no foam. Sometimes she overfills it a little and then tucks her hair behind her ears before she cleans it up. Then, with a pinch of Southern twang, she says ‘sorry ’bout that.’ When she carries on to the next customer I always feel the ache of forgetting to ask for her name…… I hope she’s working tonight.”
“I’m gonna vape so much in the ’Sco my pupils are gonna dilate and my veins are gonna leak a little and I’m gonna get screamed at and I’m gonna get hard.”
“I hope that the Great Bush band is really into Great Bush and at some point they all reveal their Great Bushes and then we all reveal our Great Bushes and we all Bush out together in Bush solidarity and it’s super awesome.”
“I hope the Great Bush band is a reenactment of President George W. Bush signing the bill to ban late-term abortion.”
“I hope the Beatles one is actually the Beatles and it’s all black guys.”
“Mass of my Crack, more like, man I hope someone gets in my crack after the show, like, I just wanna get fucked tonight lowkey.”
“I hope the whole WOBC Board gets married at the end.”
“MY HARRY AND LOUIS DREAMS WILL COME TRUE MY HARRY AND LOUIS DREAMS WILL COME TRUE MY HARRY AND LOUIS DREAMS WILL COME TRUE MY HARRY AND LOUIS DREAMS WILL COME TRUE MY HARRY AND LOUIS DREAMS WILL COME TRUE.”
Now everyone get your two-step authenticator ready for your Kalshi login, ’cause trust me, you're gonna wanna be betting on ALL of this.
