by Harper Williams, Contributor
Illustration by Hale Briner, Contributor
When I was a little girl, I began weighing the pros and cons of being female. Although simple, my list maintained some universal truths… pros: trying on my mom’s jewelry, clothes with sequins sewn into them, and American Girl Dolls… cons: dodgeball, wearing a bra, and boys. As I age, this list rarely budges, however, at times, “boys” can make its way into the Pros category. Some historical evidence to explain the times when this trend took place: Going trick or treating with Elmo, my first kiss, and when Obama wore a tan suit. Of course, these trends come to an end and “boys” ends up where it started: Cons.
During the midterm elections, my girlfriends and I were looking to the male Democratic winners. A phrase came up:
“Jon Ossoff is the definition of the perfect man.”
Although that phrase did, in fact, come from my mouth, it made me think: What constitutes the perfect man?
Similarly, Wicker, directed by Alex Huston Fischer and Eleanor Wilson, poses the same question. Wicker follows a lonesome Fisherwoman, played by Olivia Colman, through her journey with her basket-woven husband, played by Alexander Skarsgard. After being deemed the next unmarried woman to marry, she asks the Basket Weaver, played by Peter Dinklage, to craft her a husband.
What can we turn to in hopes of searching for the perfect man? Like my pros and cons list of being female, there is an even longer pros and cons list of the average man. In hopes of finding the answer to the “perfect man” dilemma, the list has gotten long, specific, and contradictory at times. So far, it’s been no luck. Here’s an excerpt:
Pros:
Has curly hair
Tall
Nice to my mom
Cons:
Voted third party
Can’t really spell
Uses Sydney Sweeney soap collab
After watching Wicker, I’ve realized that the search might go on for a while. Or, maybe, the solution may lie in the arts and crafts section at Target. I call the googly eyes and sticker mustache!
Going into Wicker, I thought it was going to be a rom-com spoof, featuring loads of basket-making erotica. Although these ideas were present, (if you’re into that sort of thing, you’ll be happy) (don’t show this to your daughter; she might get weird ideas for her Rainbow Loom) was pleasantly surprised by the love-driven, yet anti-marriage sentiment. The Wicker Husband’s respectful treatment towards the Fisherwoman raises eyebrows, like when the Wicker Husband and the Fisherwoman dance romantically. The men of the town wonder why the Wicker Husband is putting in so much effort without receiving any reward for it. Wicker, along with showing me what it would look like to see a picnic basket get down and dirty, made me think deeply about the woven-in misogyny women face every day.
From the invention of “cigarette girls,” to the “Officer Strap-Me-Down” costume I saw at Spirit Halloween to Shane Gillis’ flattering female driven humor, it always seems like women are automatically deemed less-than, with not much explanation that comes with that opinion. What is worse, is that it is accepted with a laugh. I’ve always been curious about this phenomenon. Why does society memory-wipe men’s actions and replace them with ideals of “promising young men?” And more importantly, why do women?
Wicker doesn’t take that shit. It’s a story of a woman taking what she deserves into her own hands. I think women everywhere could learn something from it. Don’t devote yourself to a man, but instead be liberated by love and things you can weave. Although, I could make an exception for Jon Ossoff.
P.S., If someone would like to make me the perfect man, I would rather he be made of gumdrops like someone from Candy Land. Thank you!
