Gold Soundz no. 9 out of 10 Dentists Would Recommend

“Shoot, coward! You are only going to kill a man.” | He r-Sebastian Cruz

Illustration by YarYar, Goop

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Side effects include exhalation through nostrils to signify amusement, mild scoffs, and love.

MIKE, Earl Sweatshirt & SURF GANG - POMPEII // UTILITY

This album makes me very happy. Of course, the music is the main reason the emcees MIKE and Earl participated in a The Face interview that put a lot of things into perspective. The interview is deeply affecting; it’s quite obvious how much the two of them respect and care about each other, the SURF GANG production collective, this music, and the continuing practice of rap music as a whole. 

At the end, they’re asked what they want people to take away from this split release, to which Earl replies sprightily: “Yo, this is us!” That’s what’s captured so potently here, this creative drive fueled by pure expression of the self, of one another, of this singular atmosphere that producers Harrison, evilgiane, et al. have conjured. We are blessed.

For fans of… Indirect power, the kinesthetic experience of a hot summer day, holding yourself to a higher standard. 

Listen to: “Minty” // “Home on the Range”

underscores - U

This album just rules. April Harper Grey cannot do any wrong.  Grey’s previous effort Wallsocket exposed her multivalent production tricks, so it’s nothing short of genius to exclusively sharpen her diamond-cut pop muscles on the next transmission. The songwriting is so good that she can effectively disembowel the nostalgia-bait argument, and the production is so good that the argument doesn’t matter in the first place. 

For fans of… Daydreaming about stunning the world with your impeccable choreo, sparkly shit, “MUUUUSIIIIIIIIIIIC.”

Listen to: “Do It”

Slayyyter - WOR$T GIRL IN AMERICA

This album also just rules. The varied register of the sound for this one involves the short-circuiting of the senses, some light foreplay, Justice-esque synth-crunch-naughtiness right between the eyes. Except, Slayyyter doesn’t let the thematics slack; it is indeed an even-sided portrait of, if not the worst girl in the country, then at least the worst in your hometown. It’s hardly shallow; the softer romantic songs feel all the more genuine amidst the bad-taste jamboree and fame-mogging rave-ups of it all. Slayyyter, like underscores, betrays her reverence and sacrifices not an inch of her singularity. 

For fans of… White trash royalty, crying in the club, dying in the club, being better than You.

Listen to: “OLD TECHNOLOGY”

Snail Mail - Ricochet

It’s been a bad year for rock music, but that’s only because it’s been a great year for rap and pop (with exceptions below). Ever since the great Indie Rock Mainstream Crossover Mass Extinction Event that occurred somewhere around Imagine Dragons’s tenth top-10 hit, rock has now had to relegate the “alternative music” niche that pop opposes and rap happily strides over with a foot in the mainstream and another in the Soundcloud mixtape feverbrush. 

A bastion of the could-have-beens, Snail Mail was crossover-ready, and could’ve easily been artistically ballooned by attention and label goodwill. Now, five years later, Lindsey Jordan has maybe three good tunes to work with, and she doesn’t have enough energy to counteract the godawful washed-out mixing. Let’s hope a minor TikTok hit brings her back from the brink.

For fans of… The eightieth song in a playlist a Spotify algorithm generated to put you in a mind-altering trance.

Listen to: “Pristine” again because it’s lowkey been a while.

RAYE - This Music May Contain Hope.

Bruno Mars is a flop, Adele is doing what she does best which is not a lot, pop music has been getting more and more interesting by the year, and as such, this RAYE character is more than welcome to fill in the gaps and make a grand, ornate puff of hot air. I’ve heard many comparisons to the above acts, but one that I think is most salient is the work of Jacob Collier, a high school band room favorite who believed that if you add enough orchestration, no one will notice your shitty little songs underneath it. RAYE’s talent is apparent, but it feels sacrificed at the altar of “tastefulness,” a soft-conservatism in aural form that bleeds into the text (see likeable if pitiable hit “WHERE IS MY HUSBAND!”); I’m right there with ya, girl.

For fans of… Maladaptive fantasies regarding domesticity with the opposite sex, blank-headed coyness, Hans Zimmer’s interns’s charity work.

Listen to: “CRANK” by Slayyyter.

Kanye West - BULLY

There isn’t an artist in the world who can make me feel the brain fissure of dissonance more than aka ye. The dark night of the soul that Kanye has been living over and over again since the pandemic seems to be reaching its conclusion; nevertheless, there’s the itching thought that he is wont to throw it all away again in an instant, as is his right. His recent performance was an event that signified his relative reintegration back into his home country after years abroad; it seems he left the ethical saw trap in his most recent album instead. 

The mere notion that most, if not all, of Kanye’s vocals are his own or AI, features, or vocal samples, makes for potent musical ankle-breakage and produces contradictory thoughts regarding the notion of “true artistry.” The hollowness is the substance, and that makes me very edgy. I get the sense that no one, not even the man himself, knows what to think about Kanye anymore.

For fans of… An incredibly unfun debate about the Trolley Problem, the hyperreal, variation on a variation on a variation on a theme with variations etc.

Listen to: Dave Blunts while he’s still here with us.