That Psychiatrist Who Was Accused of Sexual Harassment on TikTok

by Erica Kim, Contributor

If you’re just offline enough to not know who Kendra Hilty is, I envy you. Hilty is a TikToker/ADHD wellness coach and, sketchy career choices aside, is behind a veritable odyssey on the alleged abuse she faced at the hands of her psychiatrist that came out mid-August. Her story is truly something else—it involves a car accident, a different psychiatrist she went on a date with admitting he wanted to have sex with his patient, two AI chatbots that call her “the Oracle,” and talking to God. 

For the rest of the month, what I now dub “the Kendra Kraze” occurred. She was the subject of endless mockery. Not because people didn’t believe a psychiatrist could be abusive, mind you, but because Hilty described fairly normal patient-doctor interactions as sexual harassment. I do not want this to come off as me downplaying such allegations. It is difficult to explain why the vast majority of the internet does not believe her story is completely factual without stating examples of her reasoning.

 Hilty interpreted her psychiatrist asking if she had thoughts of self-harm because it was a “special interest” as an indication that she was special to him. His shocked response to hearing about Hilty’s date sexually abusing his patient was interpreted as him expressing disgust at how the abuser did a sloppy job trying to cover it up. She accused him of manipulating her because he kept her as a patient even though he knew she had a crush on him, when psychiatrists are recommended to not immediately cut off their patients to avoid feelings of abandonment (she would later admit that she did not reveal her feelings until the last few sessions). She attributed going about 15 minutes overtime to his infatuation, and described discussing her intimate life during appointments as him “getting off on her supply.” Hilty accidentally leaked several details about his personal life, including his name and place of employment, which led to the internet doxxing him. These aren't even the most concerning aspects of her story.

I do not personally believe her story is 100% factual, but I am also appalled by how many people have been threatening and mocking her. Hilty’s mental health spiral is being turned into a humorous spectacle for the internet. The Kendra Kraze is a brief but extreme and violent fixation on a random woman’s crashout. 

However, that is not to say I’m a Kendra Hilty defender. She has very few supporters overall, but there are people who are condemning how the internet has been treating her. I think some of the more defensive people are ignoring a very important element to this story: race. Hilty is a blonde white woman. Her psychiatrist is a Muslim Pakistani man. Race did come up during this saga—many Black creators pointed out the racial power dynamics—but it is rarely the center of discussion around the Kendra Kraze. The amount of people I’ve seen dismiss the role of race in Hilty’s behavior and the threat it poses to the psychiatrist is disappointing, but not surprising. 

I’m certain that people find the racial aspect of this situation uncomfortable. Sentiments I’ve read online often focus primarily on Hilty’s mental health and how “crazy” she is. Even amongst those who defend her, there is a large emphasis placed on her neurodiversity and gender. These are worthy topics of discussion, but they completely overshadow what is an equally if not even more pressing issue. Race is often tacked on as an extra detail. Hilty briefly acknowledged the racial dynamic at the beginning of a video, but mentioned the doctor-patient relationship immediately after. A fan of Hilty’s made an AI video of her psychiatrist (represented by a random Pakistani) and her getting married, yet her delighted reaction is treated as just another example of how “crazy” she and her supporters are. But while Hilty receives threats and is humiliated online, her psychiatrist must genuinely fear for his life.

Hilty has what is called “white woman tears”—when a white woman uses her perceived fragility against a person of color. In this framing, her story boils down to a mentally vulnerable white woman having her romantic feelings manipulated and being sexually abused by a foreign brown man. If you subscribe to the interpretation that Hilty is misconstruing the situation (she admitted he didn’t cross any boundaries), these accusations are false.

One of the most prolific justifications for physically harming or killing men of color is accusations of sexual abuse against white women. In this day and age, when crimes against people of color are on the rise and racial violence is growing more and more acceptable, it is not unreasonable to imagine her psychiatrist could become a victim because of her videos. Is it unlikely? Maybe, but it is still a very real possibility. The vast majority of people do not want to physically hurt strangers. Yet for that slim margin of people who do, their targets are almost always people from marginalized backgrounds who are accused of something that would make it “acceptable” to harm them. 

Hilty may be a neurodivergent woman, but she is physically much safer than her psychiatrist is due to her race. The Kraze is fundamentally about her, about what she does and how she feels. Her psychiatrist earns sympathetic comments from viewers about how terrible he must feel, but what made this series viral is the alleged victimhood of a white woman, not the danger she has put a brown man in. His well-being fades into the background as we obsess over the latest “crazy” thing Hilty has said. Any threats and abundant slander he might have received are a footnote as we staunchly defend Hilty against assholes on the internet. We shouldn’t bring him more unwarranted attention, but we should be asking ourselves why we choose to focus on Hilty (either as perpetrator or victim), and not how her actions might affect her psychiatrist. 

It doesn’t matter who is right or wrong. Not only should no one ever get doxxed, but those who have the power to physically harm do not care to discern that. In a society that prioritizes whiteness, Hilty will always be the shining star that deserves attention. Anything she does affects her psychiatrist, while he will always be a figure of comparative unimportance. Whatever happens to her psychiatrist does not affect her in the same way, and his wellbeing will not be focused on to the same degree until it starts becoming her problem. Because even when a person of color is unanimously agreed to be a victim, we still care more about the white person who victimized them.