The Cars of Oberlin College

By Griffin Frerichs

Not all of us Oberlin students, including myself, have cars on campus, but those who do hold a coveted spot in the friend group—taking friends to Walmart as well as the occasional McDonalds run. I, myself, do not have a car on campus and with no shame at all, I’ll admit that I’m the friend who always wants to take your car somewhere. What do you mean, I can’t drive your car two hours each way to go see Phish? Such bullshit.

When I get in a friend’s car, I’ve noticed that there is always an immediate shift in the relationship that I share with them. As if I’m living in a police state, they make the rules and I am to follow. Do not touch the stereo, and for all that is holy do not critique their driving. I get it—I really do. You get to campus and your car, unlike the bed you sleep in, is truly yours. Before each semester you and your most useful friend endure the trek back to school. And then you experience a little piece of home every time your friends come down with a mean case of the munchies.

So then, I guess it also makes sense that people at Oberlin talk about their cars like friends from high school, because they are in fact old friends. Interested to understand these relationships, I set out to learn more about the interpersonal dynamics between Obies and their cars.

Noah Lyford – 2012 Subaru Forester, Jinkus

Describe the relationship you have with your car.

Yeah, it’s like this dog I have to take to the vet every six months. Sometimes less. I can’t take it more than three hours without a light going on. However, I think we’ve built each other up through all of our struggles and experiences. We share a lot of stories.

Florian Hofweber – Generic minivan, nameless

If your car was a person, would it get play?

Well, my car is old, and a bit on the chubby side. So maybe, I don’t know. I personally would not have sex with my car, but, you know, attraction is subjective. 

Lukas Feld – 2004 Nissan Sentra, Emile

What duo best represents you and your car?

Maybe a couple of the apostles, like Peter and Paul.

Why?

Because we’re imprisoned.

Ryan Hoff – 2013 Ford Fusion, “the Ford”

Which way does your car swing?

My car’s a machine. Asexual, I guess.

If your car was a person, would it get play?

I try not to anthropomorphize my car, because then things get weird. I regularly step into it and press its pedals and, you know, ignite it. So I don’t want to think about it as a person. That said, probably.

Sydney Haddad – 2015 GMC Acadia Denali, nameless

Which way does your car swing?

My car’s alter ego is a suburban soccer mom, so I’m not really sure.

If your car went to a psychiatrist, what would it be diagnosed with?

Perfectionism, like it’s doing too much. It’s probably anxious.

Zoë Brush – 2009 Subaru Forester, Bob Jarvis the White Cloud Jr.

If you entered a demolition derby, how would your car do?

Um, I think it would tip over really quickly. It's a little top heavy and not particularly aggressive. It wouldn't do well.

Do you talk to your car?

Only when it’s misbehaving.

Kate Pollard – Silver Honda circa 2010s, nameless

What kind of car do you drive? Make, model, color, year?

Is this, like, a scam? Do you need my plate number too? It’s silver. It’s a Honda. I think it’s like 2010s something.

What’s your car’s most striking physical feature?

It’s got really bright eyes. You can’t even see when you’re looking into them because    they’re just so radiant.

If your car was a person, would it get play?

It’s not over the age of 18 yet, actually. So, I think that’s inappropriate. I told you my car was from the 2010s, and you still asked…

Jasmine Mutize – 2013 CX Ford Hybrid, Fritz

If your car was a person, what characteristics would it express?

Flamboyant.

What types of things would it do?

Fritz just gives androgyny. That one Replacements song, Androgyny, I think that really exudes Fritz. This sounds like I’m obsessed with my car.

What else do people need to know about you and your car?

That I don't tell anybody I have a car because I don't like when people ask me for rides. Lowkey, I feel like hella people last year became my friend just to get in my car.

I was also able to speak to a certified gearhead, Riah Burrows. I don’t know much about cars, but I know just enough to know that his Miata is pretty rad. He had a perspective on what it’s like to actually work on a car. Most people get scared away as soon as they get oil on their hands, so I appreciated what he had to say.

Riah Burrows – 1991 Blue Mazda Miata, nameless

What do you think of people who give their car a name?

I don't do that, but I think it can be kind of cute. It depends on the car and it has to match the car. 

Do you think you have a unique perspective as a person who works on cars?

You know, working on cars seems like something that's hard, but once you get into it, you realize it's not quite as hard as you thought. So I guess it just kind of makes problems more reachable to me.

What is it you love about your Miata?

I love how nimble it is, and it just seems to make people happy. Sometimes I drive around a little bit with headlights up, which makes it look like it's got a face on the front. 

How would you describe, to the uninitiated, what the process of working on a car is like?

It's a lot of figuring out, as you go and watching YouTube videos. And getting very dirty.

Why is this a cool hobby?

You use a car so much, and it's satisfying to put a lot of time into making it work well and making something that you're happy with, that can actually take you anywhere in the world.