Ellen and the De- genereses was a brief but luminous ska band in the spring of 1997. They put out some real bangers, but unfortunately had to break up two months after they got together, when the real Ellen Degeneres came out as a lesbian.

This French movie is apparently about a writer who is trying to prove she didn’t kill her husband. I also think I remember hearing she’s bi-sexual. Other than that, I have no clue what this is.

“We’re on the same boat . . . and it’s sinking.”

Your sluggish pace doth fill me with dark woe,

You may find yourself struggling to bring the snack that packs that perfect je ne sais quoi to your superbowl party. If so, look no further!

“ We all miss her, but she’s very busy excelling over at Oberlin. She just got an A on her midterm for ‘Dire Straights: Heterosexual Anxiety in Climate Apocalypse Fiction’,”