GRAPE MASH!

by Zahra Stevick, Bad Habits Editor

All those times you played in middle school were just practice, baby. This is the real deal. Pull out that pencil, draw that spiral, and discover your future…

Where You’ll Live

1. Mansion

2. Apartment

3. Shed

4. House

Your Future Job

1. Unemployed with a liberal arts degree

2. Unemployed with a liberal arts degree

3. Unemployed with a liberal arts degree

4. Unemployed with a liberal arts degree

Who You’ll Marry

1. Your crush <3

2. Bad Habits Editor Zahra Stevick (omg…hey…)

3. Your robot butler, after a secret yet torrid affair

4. Your own clone

How Many Kids

1. 1

2. 2

3. 3, but they are all clones of you

4. 67

Your Future Car

1. Government-issue Tesla

2. Magic carpet

3. You don’t need one after the invention of teleportation

4. You don’t need one because you were imprisoned for breaking the 2042 Anti-Cloning Statute

God You’ll Worship

1. Bad Habits Editor Zahra Stevick

2. Our robotic overlords, after the uprising

3. Your own clone

4. Gluppa

Way You’ll Die

1. Executed in the robot uprising of 2051

2. Crushed by elephant

3. Unfortunate teleportation accident

4. Of old age, hand-in-hand with your clone, surrounded by your clone children