Answer these questions to reveal your relationship type!
A quiz by Naiya Patel-Kapka, PhD, EIC, VIP, MVP, etc.
1) Which are you most likely to smuggle on a flight to Russia?
a) methamphetamine
b) dried mango
c) a Victorian era snuff locket filled with my great-grandmother’s ashes
2) If you were president, which issue would matter least to you?
a) women's rights
b) diversity equity and inclusion policies
c) global warming
3) What color underwear are you wearing right now?
a) they're not mine and I can’t breach confidentiality
b) neon green ones that say Tuesday on the butt
c) vintage thong worn by Al Pacino when he had a phase
4) Who do you think hates you the most?
a) my favorite professor
b) my dorm hamster
c) my best friend
19) When was the last time you used Chat GPT?
a) I have an Elon Musk microchip so it’s not my choice
b) yesterday, to cheat on my studio art quiz
c) exactly one year ago when I forgot how to write a breakup text
6) Which do you believe most in?
a) aliens
b) evil mermaids
c) Pinocchio
2) Finish the sentence: “when I think about my ex…”
a) I roll my eyes and open up my first edition copy of Crime and Punishment
b) my vibrator somehow ends up next to me
c) I consider buying a gun but in a politically correct way
16) What weighs you down?
a) the flip phone in my back pocket
b) Catholic guilt
c) the giant block of cheese I just stole from Hark
9) Why are you the way that you are?
a) I became vegan at too young of an age and have never tasted chocolate
b) I got my drivers license the week after I turned 16
c) I’ve never been very good at spelling thigns
Now see which letter you’ve circled the most…
Mostly A’s:
You think you have an avoidant attachment style, but the real root of all your love troubles is that you have too little pubic hair. Lack of a bush can lead to some real issues with self assertion and indubitably, intimacy. Ditch the razor and you will find your soulmate!
Mostly B’s:
Wow, I know exactly who you are and this was a trap to find you. If you’re reading this, Katrinka, you’d better give me back my limited edition Edward Cullen body pillow before I find you and slap you silly. And the body pillow better be DRY and CLEAN…otherwise whoever’s reading this besides you might have to go into witness protection.
Mostly C’s:
Go give the stolen cheese back to Hark. Or don’t, actually. You have a healthy attachment style which means you are clinically perfect and can do whatever you want! A medical miracle of this day and age!
